Harkes, JP, Ballsuckers

23Nov09

Ham fisted.

I kept thinking that throughout a nervy, injury riddled, dramatic MLS cup last night.  I had been distracted from the game by the idiotic musings of John Harkes and JP Dellacamara.  It was clear, and has been any time the Galaxy play, that each of David Beckham’s golden balls were being lovingly caressed by the tongues of John and JP.  You would have thought that Beck’s had won the MLS MVP award for the way they were talking about him.  Never did they bother to note that he isn’t the best player on his team (or second best).  Every time Beckham made a pass Harkes would hyperventilate and overstate the importance of the pass, “such a great ball” he would exclaim after a solid basic pass had been made.  A pass that just about every MLS player makes on a regular basis.  Harkes kept going on and on about what great service Beckham delivers from the corner and how it was almost impossible that they hadn’t scored off of one of his corners all season.  Perhaps, you ball licking fool, his corners haven’t been good this season.
It is truly amazing to watch ESPN suck up to David Beckham thinking that he is a draw.  The guy still can sell papers in England and drive internet hits like a mother fucker but he doesn’t put people in stands any more.  At least not here.  The Galaxy couldn’t even sell out their Western Conference final.  Chicago sold out their Eastern Conference Final 4 days before the game.
When JP and John weren’t blathering on about Becks they were blathering on about something.  These two need to figure out when to shut up.  Their droning on and on during the penalties hurt the drama.  A bit of silence before the kick is taken would have helped to build the drama up even further, showcasing the enormity of each kick.  Instead we just got vapid talking that distracted from the moment at hand.
The whole production itself was a blunt instrument to the face.  No substance, no style (that new fancy tech showing where players were was horrific) and of course the annoying ticker at the bottom of the screen.  This is what ESPN does and I really shouldn’t be surprised that I’m so disappointed by them. MLS and, in particular, MLS Cup deserve better.
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